Polanski's Still a Rapist

Polanski, who sure makes a great picture show,
Had sex with a thirteen-aged girl who said 'no.'
He skipped town to boot,
But punishment? Shoot!
To actually try him is evil. You know?

Dictators at the U.N.

Adhmadi loves freedom, and Chavez smells hope,
Qadaffi can ramble at epic a scope.
These crooks don't deserve this,
But this is a service:
A firsthand observance of what makes them dopes.

John Edwards, a Father (Again)

More info untold in his president run,
John Edwards is father to's mistress' son.
He said they'd be married
When Liz was dead, buried.
The number of bastards here's greater than one.

Iran's Anti-Israel Protests Subverted

With Israel's offenses Iran its own shields.
Reformers, uniting them, make th' same appeal.
The government's factioned
By th' scapegoat they've fashioned,
A bludgeoning cudgel too heavy to wield.

Patrick Swayze Dead

A red dusk for th' summer of famous dead most,
Today Patrick Swayze became a 'real' ghost.
One (with more faith
Than I have) could say,
He's dirtily dancing with th' Heavenly Host.

The 9/12 Project

Glenn Beck wants t' revisit September the twelfth,
By protesting Nazis, and Stalin, and health?
The country supported
Its leader. God forbid!
Glenn Beck would implode if he gave Barack help.

The Shot-Off Mouth Heard Round the World

Joe Wilson, in order the Dems to out-ass,
Did heckle Obama. "You lie!" so he gnashed.
The rival o' this bitcher's
Now half a mil richer.
Joe acted the douchebag, and so he got splashed.

Van Jones Resigns

Van Jones, the Green Czar, has Obama now shorn
For signing a Truther petition. I'm torn.
He should have been vetted,
But we've folks embedded
In Congress who doubt where Obama was born.

School Speech Backlash Builds

'The President urging kids study and learn
Is brainwashing so that they'll Socialist turn.'
The charge may sound wild,
But wanting your child
As stupid as you's a legit'mate concern.

Possible Troop Request on the Horizon

McChrystal, to tackle Afghanistan's troubles
Wants increasing troop numbers (possibly double?).
This never-tamed place,
Like shaving one's face:
A war on beards: evermore razing down stubble.

Bachmann's Advice: Slit Your Wrists. Seriously!

'The best means of beating the health care reformers
Is cultic wrist-slitting,' so Bachmann has warned. Er...
One thing is certain:
With their wrists blood squirtin',
Support for the bill will be more uniformer.