Sarah Palin Resigns

Mrs. Palin made sense like a lipsticky pit bull:
"See, I'm not a quitter, I'm just a bit quit-ful.
The best way to fight
For you is take flight,
So unlike a dead fish I'll swim to my crypt-hole."

No Blogging Today or Tomorrow. Happy Fuck-the-English Day!

Those who go forth
With a fifth on the Fourth
May not go forth on the fifth.

Slowing Down the Slow-Down?

The numbers for June were predictably bleak,
A half million gone, an economy weak.
But losses are slowing;
Of which way we're going
It still is too soon to with confidence speak.

Karl Malden too

First Jackson and Fawcett and Ed McMahon die
And then Billy Mays and Jeff Goldblum (a lie).
And now Karl Malden!
The week is not all done;
Celebs to be safe ought to say their goodbyes.

Not Stonewall...

The Rainbow Lounge raided by five brutal swine,
Who proceeded to tread over reas'nable lines.
Arrested they seven,
Sent one near to heaven,
And used the Gay Panic defense. They are lying.

All Jackson, All the Time

Mrs. Jackson will handle the kids, says the will.
Did you hear 'bout Michael, he starved himself still?
Honduras' strife
And the rest of real life
Has been given focus, comparative nil.

Minnesota Now Has Two Senators

With seven months passed by, a wait near the longest,
Al Franken will finally serve in the Congress.
His fallen opponent
Took not a moment
Before he condemned its 'electoral wrongness.'

Twitter Meltdown

A lukewarm review Alice Hoffman embittered,
whose angry reaction was angrily Twittered.
To be even dumber
The reviewer's phone number
She posted, the last of her tweeting--oh titter!

Madoff Sentenced

For Ponzi-ist Madoff's depravings
Of scheming out billions in savings,
Received he a sentence
Of one-fifty penitent
Years as demanded the victims' ravings.

And now, Billy Mays...

His TV persona just screamed Kaboom!
With OxiClean voice and behavioral zoom.
Another celebrity's
Surprising life brevity
Becomes for us fodder, more news to consume.

Stonewall, 40 Years On

Two score years ago, when two guys couldn't score,
The gays kept unseen, as they had before.
Our progress commendable,
We still seem expendable:
Obama seems hardly to care anymore.

Public Enemies: Yeah, Boooooooyyyyeeeee

The story of Dillinger seemed in retreat
Until a Mann took up that criminal beat.
He conquered the spell
Of development hell,
Will his Public Enemies give light and Heat?

Would There Were a Heaven for Charlie's Angels

The Fawcett named Farrah has now been turned off,
She who turned on men, a fantasy boff.
Her cancerous anus
Condition was heinous,
But had it been Jackson's people would scoff.

Diamonds are Mugabe's Best Friend

Zimbabwe was rich with a diamond supply;
Mugabe caught wind of these stones before I.
I saw light reflected
And went and inspected.
The diamonds were gone, but the blood not yet dry.

Four and a score years ago....

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
I'm no longer twenty-three
Happy birthday to me