- DC Under Siege by Roving Segway Gangs
- Obama Abandons Principals, at School Picnic
- California's Proposition 8 to be Tried by Golden Retriever
- Anthony Weiner, Tired of Crude Jokes, Changes Name to Ned
- Bachmann Presidential Run Shocks--Shocks!--Nation
- Mitt Romney Literally Melts Down at Campaign Stop
- Republicans Enraged at Jon Huntsman's Statement of the Obvious
- Armageddon Strikes New York With Legalization of Gay Marriage
- Michele Bachmann Praises John Wayne Gacy
- Transcript: Obama Comforts Nation Over Agonizing Casey Anthony Trial
- Sarah Palin Embarks on Pre-Cancelled Tour
- Washington Outraged by Harsh Language
- Obama Orders Drone Strike on Casey Anthony
- Atlanta Schools to Make Cheating Mandatory
- Clinton on Karzai Assassination: "A Sign of How Much We've Accomplished in Afghanistan" (Full Remarks)
- LEAKED: Marcus Bachmann Writes Musical Number Proving He's Straight
- England Declares Murdoch Pie-Thrower a National Hero
- House Republicans: If You Don't Lower Taxes, We'll Shoot This Dog
- Majority of Americans "Totally Cool" With National Default
- Norway Terror Suspect Had Jihadist Ties (UPDATED)
- Dozens Asphyxiated as Debt Ceiling Debate Sucks Up DC's Oxygen
- Americans Dreading August 2nd: Wes Craven's Birthday
- Obama Harbors Hardcore Centrism Fetish
- Moody Wall Street Threatens to Jump Off a Cliff
- GOP: Obama to Blame For Letting Us Damage U.S. Credit Rating
- TIME Magazine's George Washington Cover Sparks Controversy
- Rick Perry Apologizes For Bernanke Remarks
- LEAKED: Marcus Bachmann Writes Musical Number Proving He's Straight
"Benjamin was the oldest animal on the farm, and the worst tempered. He seldom talked, and when he did, it was usually to make some cynical remark—for instance, he would say that God had given him a tail to keep the flies off, but that he would sooner have had no tail and no flies." - Animal Farm
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The Washington Fancy
News parody published under pen name Doug Limey